Turnabout

'Ello bloggers, I haven't been around for a while, have I? Sorry about that. Really, I am. I just wanted to tell you that that happiness I said I had in the last post, where I hoped it would last a while? It did. I'm still dating Matt, and in 2 days it will be our 3 month anniversary. I still like Zackey, but honestly, it's nothing more than just a nagging feeling in the back of my brain every once in a while. I'm sure I could dig it up and I'd feel exactly the same way as I always have. But really, what would be the purpose in that?

     Zackey and Dylan broke up. Zackey was devastated, and exactly a month ago, he finally moved on and got a different boyfriend named Dean. He lives in North Carolina, I believe. I like Dean more than I liked Dylan, Dylan was never my favorite person in the world. I'm happy for Zackey, I really am. Because it's not like I could date him now anyway, I have Matt.

     I went to a dive-in movie with Matt yesterday. Actually, Matt and his parents, and that was the first time I was around his parents as his girlfriend. And his little brother got to have more than a 1-second conversation with me. He said he thinks I'm violent because of the feeling he gets around me. I just laughed and asked him 'Really?' I actually am kind of a violent person, but only to people that hurt the ones I love, or that I don't like.

     Zackey really has become my best friend over the past year or so. He and Hunter's friendship finally dissolved. Zackey got tired of fighting with her every second, and he finally realised I was the better friend all along. He's apologised for not realising it before, and man, we're a power couple in a platonic way now. Kicking ass wherever we go. I have this feeling that this time, this friendship will last. Zackey's not going to walk away from me, and I'm not going to walk away from him.

     My parents still fight, but I don't let it get to me anymore. What's the point? It's not as if my crying is going to help them.

    I don't cry myself to sleep at night anymore, and the insecurities still barrage me, but I can ignore them, 'cause now I read fanfictions on my iPod until I'm tired enough to go to sleep, I don't just sit in the dark and let myself get assaulted.

     It's summer now, of course, I've been out of school for...3 weeks, I think? It's been glorious. I haven't done much, actually, but I still love not having to go through classes. Because of Matt and Zackey I don't feel alone anymore, but I still dislike the drama that happened earlier this year because of Hunter and her new posse of bitches. I'm not going to get into that, though, it brings up negative feelings. Let's just say rumours, a trip to the principal, and lying was involved. Thank God I had Zackey and Matt through this, though. And it happened near the end of the school year, so it was easy to banish it from my mind. I haven't even thought about it until a few seconds ago.

     So, anyways, life took a turn for the better, finally. I guess karma decided that I'd struggled long enough, so it handed me something to smile about. So if you feel depressed, or your ready to give up hope, take it from someone who knows, it really does get better. 

~Emily

First To Know - Collectors Club